Children's Letters to God

Today I relived a piece of my childhood. I was trying to think back through all of the theatrical performances I had been a part of over the past several years, and somehow ended up listening to the cast recording of the first play I had a major part in, Children's Letters to God. For those of you who don't know what that musical is, well, you can take my word that it is a heartwarming, hilarious, and all-around fantastic story that will always be very dear to me. Yes, I might be a bit biased, but I don't really care. I will always love this story.

The musical revolves around the lives of a group of kids who are going through life together. They are asking questions and trying to find the answers, and so, as might be expected, they turn to God with those riddles that they want figured out, hoping that He will be able to solve it all for them.

Listening back through the songs--the beautiful, nostalgic songs that defined a time in my life that I was just discovering who I was--I felt like I was going to simply break down crying. I didn't, mainly because I was at school, and that probably wouldn't have been a pretty sight to see, but throughout the entire time I listened to the songs, my heart was heavy with both joy and sadness. Joy at the happy memories that listening to the wonderful music brought back to me, and sadness at both the nostalgia of those days and the slightly bittersweet nature of the play itself.

In the musical, I played a thirteen year-old boy named Brett. This boy was the oldest and sort of the leader of the group of friends, and he came from a divorced home. It was one of my favorite characters I've ever played. This kid, he was so hurt, and he just wanted answers from God, or anyone, as to why his life was changing so much. I don't think I truly understood how poignant the entire musical was when I was in it, but now, five years later, I am truly appreciating how deep and intricate Children's Letters to God is as a dramatic presentation, and also how much being a part of it meant to me.

Not only was the play itself fantastic and touching to both the actors involved, the rest of the people in the production, and the audience enjoying it, the entire experience of rehearsing, performing, and preparing for the musical was such an amazing time for me. I met so many great people by trying out, and the process of getting to know them over the months we practiced, I wouldn't trade for the world.

Some of you might be confused as to how a silly play I was in when I was fourteen could have any lasting impact on my life. I don't really know how to explain it. Part of my life began on that stage. It was one of the first times I really understood what I wanted from my life, and I what I was willing to do to get there. And I will always be incredibly thankful to everyone who was a part of that production, and everyone who has ever pushed me to be the best that I could be.

So, thank you to Spotlight on Kids, the local community theatre group that I have been a part of since Children's Letters to God. And thank you to all the wonderful actors that became a part of my life through that experience, and who gave me so much love, joy, and encouragement as we all tried to figure out how to portray these kids who just wanted to know why.

Most of all, however, I want to thank my mom. For pushing me and my brother to try out for Children's Letters to God. She knew me more than I knew myself. And even though I've figured out a lot more about life since those days five years ago, I still have a lot to learn, and I'm glad I'll have her and my dad to help me through it all.

You see, Brett didn't. And I know lots of people who come from broken families, who are going through so many things that they shouldn't have to deal with. But my parents have made a commitment. To me, to my siblings, to each other.

And together, with my family, my best friends, and everyone else who I am blessed to have as a part of my life, we can go forward with the confidence that God does have the answers to all those questions burning in our minds. And if we trust Him, we'll find the answers. Maybe not in this life, but someday.

That's enough for me.

The Anticipation of Contentment

One of the things that I've been thinking about a lot over the last few months is the subject of contentment. Being happy with where you are in any moment--not regretting the past or longing for the future (or the other way around), but simply being present and living for the here and now.

All of our lives as human beings, our natural tendency is to rely on anticipation. We wait for the year that we've convinced ourselves will be "where our lives truly start". When we start dating. When we get a job. When we get married. When we finish college. When we have kids. But those moments often come and go, and they don't fulfill our expectations how we thought they ought to.

The event, no matter how great it is, will never live up to the expectations we've set up for it. That birthday party will never be quite as fantastic as you pictured it in your head. That's just the way the world is. And the more we rely on expectations, the more we wish we were in a different place and time than we are now, the more we become disconnected and unhappy with where we are right now.

And that's not what God called us to do or be. He calls us to be content in every circumstance--to trust Him. The more I live my life, the more I realize how horrible a sin worrying really is. When we worry, we not only waste time, we aren't trusting God.

The level of happiness and joy in our lives is directly dependent on our level of trust in God. And until we can learn to be content in every situation we find ourselves in, and not be longing for or dreading things that may or may not ever happen, we will be anxious.

There will never be a point in your life where you can say you've arrived. There will never be a time that you can look at definitively and say "I was the closest to God I'll ever be right about then" or "I was the happiest I'll ever be at that point in my life" because it's simply not true. Or at least it doesn't have to be. People are constantly growing and changing, sometimes for the worse, but sometimes for the better. But looking forward in time and thinking "I'll be a follower of God when that happens" or "I'll be happy when that happens" is just wrong, and it will drive your focus away from what God has for you in this very moment.

You have to live every moment as if it's the best moment of your life. Joy, pure joy, is not something you just stumble upon--it is something that you strive for. It is something that comes from a conscious change of attitude. If you base your actions on however you're feeling at the moment, what happens when you're feeling depressed? God has better things for you to do than to wallow in melancholy because of how horrible a person you are.

Life is about your attitude. There's only so much that other people can do. The rest is up to you. You have the Living God inside of you, and all you have to do is ask for his Holy Spirit to fill you up, and bam, it's there. And that is a conscious choice you have. Life is not about what you're feeling. Life is about what you choose to do with those feelings.

So, let's go. Let's live in the moment. Be content with who we are, where we are, right now. God has some amazing things for us to do, and all we have to do is take a step of faith and trust Him, and He'll lead us. Stop longing for a time when things were better. Stop worrying about what the future might hold.

You're alive now, and you have a job to do.